“Adventure is just bad planning”
–Roald Amundsen, Norwegian explorer and author
Last fall, we returned to the U.S. to finish out our coaching contract with one of our Ironman athletes. The event was around the holidays, so we extended our stay before heading back out on the road.
At a holiday party, a friend asked us,
“That’s great that you’re doing this whole travel thing, but what will you do when things don’t go as planned?”
I think our friend was well-meaning and only asked out of concern for us. But I also think it was his friendly way of asking, “What if you guys fail?”
It was a strange question for us. You see, up until that night we had spent the last 6 months(actually our whole lives as you’ll understand later in this post) learning how to live with things going differently from what we planned.
We had trained ourselves to go places without reservations, simply booking on the fly when we got there.
Most of the time this worked out. Well, there was the time we bunked in with a random French guy after arriving at Tioman Island right at dusk as the sunlight was fading. We only got to know him 5 minutes before we decided to become roommates for one night.
That worked out too, although it was not our original plan. If anyone ever told you French people are rude, they lied to you. The French are some of the nicest people we’ve met in our travels.
We replied to our friend, “You know what? You just roll with it. However it goes, you find a way to get past it and move on.”
I don’t know if this was good enough for him. He didn’t seem quite convinced. I don’t blame him. His question alludes to the instinctive fear that we all have when it comes to uncertain outcomes.
Learning courage…to embrace the doubt and uncertainty, to overcome the fear of plans going awry, to blind yourself to self-doubt and open your eyes to possibility…doesn’t happen overnight.
Do you ever fear that your plans will fail? Does it cause you to laugh at a lot of your big dreams and settle for the “sure” things in your life…the one’s that are “failproof”?
If you define plans not working out as failure, you might as well throw in the towel. Because by your measure, you’re a complete an utter failure.
I hope I’ve got your attention, because here’s a news flash:
Your life is one huge collection of things that haven’t gone as planned.
Some of you went to college and majored in something other than what you dreamed of as a child. Still others among you then took a job in a completely different industry than what you majored in.
You might have even planned to go to a certain university like MIT, but things didn’t work out and you went to a local college instead.
If you focused on your career, you may have had children later than you originally planned. Others may have had children sooner than planned. Some, like ourselves, didn’t have any at all.
Maybe you got married, thinking you found your soulmate. It didn’t work out as planned, and you went separate ways.
Despite these plans that didn’t work out, here you are. You have the luxury of being able to read this on the internet. Your world hasn’t ended. Since you have internet access, I’ll make the bold assumption that there is a roof over your head.
Which brings us to the answer to our friend’s question:
When things don’t go as planned, we do the only thing we can do. The only thing our parents, grandparents, and their parents did. We carry on and move forward with intention.
This is what you have been doing your entire life, without even realizing it. To become self-aware of this fact is one of the most important things you can practice if you want to take bold action in the face of uncertainty.
I’m not against planning. Indeed, a failure to plan is a plan to fail. What I have learned is that it is important to have a plan that allows for the curveballs life will throw at you. I know it isn’t easy. Hell, I still struggle with it myself.
The intoxicating illusion of control has been the ruin of many ambitions. Frozen in a locker of fear, the most spectacular dreams end up never seeing the light of day.
There is a story of how a man died and upon his arrival into heaven was met by St. Peter, who showed him around God’s house.
Heaven was more amazing than he ever imagined, with all the food and drink you could want, and the sun perpetually shining throughout.
St. Peter said the man could enjoy all that heaven had to offer, but he was not to enter the room with the large red door.
One day, the man noticed the door had been left ajar, so he decided to take a peek inside. The room was massive, a huge warehouse filled with boxes like you would see in an old bookkeeping room.
Every box had a name. After a few hours looking he found his, and started to peel open the lid.
“What do you think you are doing?” said St. Peter, who had been observing from a distance.
The man replied, “I’m sorry. I know I’m not supposed to be here. But I’d much like to know what is inside this box that bears my name.”
“This is the room of unfulfilled dreams. These boxes contain the dreams people kept locked in their hearts. The people who never found the courage to open their hearts to pursue these dreams died with them still inside and we ended up storing them here.”
How much more remarkable could your life be if it weren’t ruled by the fear that your plans won’t work out?
What untold legacy could you be leaving for your family and the world, if you were only willing to demand it of yourself?
There is no such thing as a rock-solid, unbreakable, perfect plan.
It is not a perfect plan that makes big dreams come true. It’s the person who is perfectly fine with uncertainty. The person who is willing to forge ahead, even without a guarantee of success.
You are this person, and until now you never realized it. You’ve been forging ahead your entire life, despite so many plans that didn’t work out along the way.
If you’re sitting on a big dream or goal, it’s time to stand up and make it happen. Your plan might not work out, but as you’ve proven time and again, your life moves on and you continue to live it to the fullest you can.
You don’t know how long the rest of your life will be. Don’t reach the end asking St. Peter, “Is there something in my box?”
Now that you’re self-aware of this, we can’t wait to see what dreams are about to be released from you!
Beautiful post! Again!
I’ve always valued adventure higher than stability because I believe the memories that I’ll treasure will be those of the unexpected, random moments. I understand the drive to have order (I am a control freak, after all), but I think there’s a certain order in uncertainty as well.
If you give over to the uncertainty and learn to be flexible within it, in essence you are controlling how much your urge to control has over you. By limiting your control’s control, you push your own walls further away from each other and grow your capacity for allowing life and its excitement in! Am I making any sense? I hope so.
Thanks for the Saturday morning inspiration!
Amy recently posted..The Race to Happiness: Start The Inspiration Cycle
Good morning Amy!
Isn’t serendipity the awesome? You hit the nail on the head(yes you’re making sense). Relinquishing control truly does open up more possibilities.
marvin recently posted..Today Is The Beginning Of The Rest Of Your Life
… was this article written for me? Ok, Coach -Fine, I will let go. Haha. I’m such a control freak – I was just plotting out our itinerary for this weekend… sorting through magazines, yelp, internet — lol. This is what I do every time we travel. It just feels like if I don’t then we r not prepared not ready which equates to failure but then again if the planning doesn’t work out the way I imagined it to be then its also a failure in my eyes. So here’s what I will do from this day forward — I will let go. I’ll go where the wind blows and adjust along the way. =)
…and on our next vacation — my hubby and family will wonder what happened to Candee?
I have been aware but I am even more aware now. Thanks for the post!
You’re welcome Candee, and thanks for stopping by!
Yes, it’s a different feeling when you let go. For a shorter vacation, it’s generally better to pre-plan, since time is limited. But if you have two weeks or more to work with, you can turn it into a real adventure!
marvin recently posted..Intriguing And Satisfying Yangon
This is a gem of a post! Thank you for a fresh perspective on life, plans changing, and moving forward with intention. Life is pretty amazing with all of its delicious ambiguity. And the story of the boxes in heaven is inspiring…in my quest to ‘go green,’ I better start following my dreams to avoid accumulating more boxes!
Thanks Julianne!
Yes, we should all try not to have a box full of stuff when we finally arrive at the pearly gates!
marvin recently posted..Inle Lake: A Bicycle Tour
That is why I half plan a trip and leave rest to destiny.Guess what it turns out be an adventure everytime,if its gud its memories,if its bad,it still remains in ur mind.Btw nice article..
Excellent Ankita! It can be fun and sometimes an added hurdle to travel that way…but we’ve learned to enjoy it. It’s like working out(which we also enjoy), except this it is a mental workout to strengthen the courage muscle. Thank you for the kind words, and safe travels!
marvin recently posted..The First Run of 2012: Our Thai Visa Run to Laos
Haha! Great minds think alike. I also thought that my life has not gone as planned and such is life. But such unplanned moments are what made it all the more interesting and meaningful. Meandering through the unexpected also helps us rediscover ourselves. THat’s what I’ve found out at least!
Noch Noch
Noch Noch | be me. be natural. recently posted..if I could choose a normal life, would I?
Glad to hear that we share a similar outlook on life Noch Noch. We love Chris Guillebeau’s writing too, so that makes two things we share.
marvin recently posted..Why We Need You To Act Now
When i read the question your friend posed to you i felt puzzled but then i remembered back in the day, waaaay back in corporate cubicle land how life used to be. How i used to fear if things would not go as planned but now it’ assumed that something will go wrong or not as planned and if it does we make due. but i think it takes a mental mind shift to accept that?
You do bring up some great points though. Our whole life really is one thing after another that didn’t go as planned. Most people don’t see it that way. Thank you for reminding us about that.
Great post…….Cheers…..Annie
Annie Andre recently posted..Are You Afraid To Tell Your Friends and Family You Want To Live Abroad For A Year?
Thanks for the insight Annie! Yes, I totally know what you mean with the corporate world. Sadly, most organizations train us to beat ourselves up when we make a mistake. Over time, we equate unplanned outcomes with failure (indeed, performance reviews tend to be used to point out all the things that went wrong). To shift the mind away, it helps to remove oneself from that environment and just try things out to see mistakes for what they really are: lessons for life.
I see too many people settling for what they believe mainstream will accept, rather than what they believe they can really become. Then, I run into people like you…who grab life by the horns and steer it with intention. Kudos to you and you family for rallying together to make a dream come true!
Hi Marvin,
Life is an unexpected series of events but my belief is that these events are set in place as stumbling stones to not only make your life more exciting but to also teach you more about yourself. How mundane would our existence be if things went always as planned.
Best wishes to you, for a magnificent weekend.
Daniel
Daniel Lombardi recently posted..Emotional Freedom Techniques: EFT For Kids with Brad Yates
You are so right Daniel. And the exciting thing about this existence is to know that we have the power to parlay every event that happens to us into something meaningful for the world at large. Thanks for stopping by, and so glad to hear that your own journey continues to teach others how to get back up when life tries to knock you down.
marvin recently posted..Why We Need You To Act Now
Marvin, great words here. A plan falling through doesn’t mean you aren’t living with intention… in fact, having too many “plans” keeps you from living consciously in the present. It can be easy for us to become inflexible by adhering to what we set out to do, and not rolling with the punches by making adjustments along the way.
I think there is nothing more important than learning to carry on, or “roll with it” as you say. This resilience is what helps you change the world.
Have an awesome day, thanks for the encouragement.
Cole Bradburn recently posted..11,000 Sunrises and Counting…
Thanks for the comment Cole. It’s so true what you have said. Too many of us spend time beating ourselves up when things don’t go right, when it is so much more productive to learn from the mistake(without blaming ourselves), and seeing how we can improve for the future. Time waits for no one, so we shouldn’t waste too much of it on self-defeating thoughts. Have an amazing day yourself as well!
This is great motivation. Thanks.
Thanks for leaving us a comment Ian! That’s double the motivation for me to keep giving you reasons to push forward in your life, no matter the obstacles. Keep your dreams alive…and most important, keep moving towards them, even one small step each day!
O I will.. Every time a negative thing cross my mind I just Think of the things you say on here to get me thinking positive again. Im glad that I found this. Its cool cause its my uncle blog literally, that’s the cool thing about it..